oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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