Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We need a shit load of segways right now
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
