Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
