so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
