I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
then he tried to convert me to islam
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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