I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
