My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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