I have demons in me.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
