She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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