addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
