You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just had sex on a roof
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
