My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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