everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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