i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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