I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
