that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She's the barista slut.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
