im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
