I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
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Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
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the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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