I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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