I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
