I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
