is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
