The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
