Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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