dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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