I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
