Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
