you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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