i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
