How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Someone shattered a urinal.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
