I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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