Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
