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I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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