So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
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Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
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I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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