so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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