well you can't waste a boner
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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