I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
