I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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