I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
