It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just found puke in my bra..
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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