i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
