I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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