to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
