Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
