The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
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Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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