You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
