sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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