Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
