dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The uberlube is also flammable
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
