I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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