Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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