dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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