Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
do herpes really smell.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
