weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
