I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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