It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I want to have your abortion
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Randomize
