My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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