just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
