So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
