Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
