maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
