I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
