Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
