careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
