I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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