I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
